Group Psychology
by Swiggle
Summary: 100 Prompts - They say the Food’s great at Cafe Akatsuki. But be warned... with Five waiters with clashing personalities, two quirky chefs, a crazy su chef, and only two managers the simplest of tasks turn into unadulterated madness. Are you hungry yet?
1. 001 Pen

A/N: Well, welcome to my self-assigned ficlet challenge. 100 Writing prompts, and 100 Drabbles all about the Akatsuki. The only restrictions I have placed upon myself is 1) All ficlets must be done before March 2010. And 2) No chapter can be above 1000 words.

Enjoy! And Please Read and Review. It helps me improve my writing!

I do not own Naruto or any of its characters, they belong to talented people that created them.

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**Group Psychology 001  
Prompt #1: Pen  
Word Count: 302**

It wasn't often that Pein outwardly expressed any emotion, even when alone in the privacy of his own office kept the same blank look upon his features. However, in recent days he had exchanged that expression with one of mild annoyance. His employees didn't exactly provide him with the most... _normal_ of situations after all. In fact, normal and Cafe Akatsuki didn't belong in the same sentence at all.

As if on cue there was a small scale explosion caused dust to fall from the ceiling which promptly settled on top of his head.

The manager was far from pleased.

He could feel the migraine coming on, forming behind his eyes and throbbing within his temples. The screaming of the teenage female clientele whom were often regulars at the cafe (who could blame them, sweets, sophisticated atmosphere, and "eye candy" galore...alright, sophisticated wasn't the right word) wasn't helping matters in the slightest. He suppressed a groan thinking about the impending explanation he would receive from a certain blond employee that would without any doubt include "so-and-so made me do it!" or "it's art, un!" and a rant about how his work is unappreciated. The whole fiasco would end up with Deidara running scared out the door to his "danna" and Pein dealing with a bigger headache than before.

He might as well get started on the required paperwork (before the pounding in his head intensified).

...

Where was his pen?

The Manager frowned deeply; he could've sworn it was on his desk a moment ago, he had just used it. He buried his head in his hands, letting them run through ginger hair.

It was too early for this; and that was the beauty of it.

7:01 AM

The Cafe had only been open for one full minute.

It wasn't fair.

---

Fin.


	2. 002 Faith

A/N: I do not own Naruto or any of its characters they belong to their respective creators.

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**Group Psychology 002  
Prompt #6: Faith  
Word Count: 243**

Hidan never had a particular way with words.

"-you fucking heathen! I should smite your ass right now! _Of course _there is only one true god! May Jashin have mercy on your dirty rotten soul!"

"..."

Then again neither did Itachi.

Hidan had no idea what had processed him to start a religious debate with the _Uchiha_ of all people. It was kind of pointless when you put it into perspective, sometimes talking to him was very much like talking to a rock. A very pretty rock, but a rock regardless. In fact, he was pretty damn sure that a rock had more expression that what he was getting from the Uchiha. At least he wasn't like Pein, or should he say _Leader-sama_, completely void of, well, anything. The Uchiha's expression just looked so god damn bored with everything, like nothing was even worth it. So above everything.

He hated that.

He just wanted to break that untouchable face.

"How do you know your god is the "true" one?"

He hadn't just said that.

The prick didn't just fucking question the existence of his god.

All Hidan could see was red. Today an Uchiha was going to die and he didn't care how many costumers were witnesses to it. He lunged; and Itachi was ready for him (goddamn prick set him off on purpose).

Funny, Hidan wasn't very good at convincing people either.

And he wondered why he could never convert anyone.

---

Fin.


	3. 003 Pride

A/N: Once again I stress that Naruto and any of its characters do not belong to me as much as I wish it were so. They belong to the talented people whom created them.

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**Group Psychology 003  
Prompt #11: Pride  
Word Count: 179**

The blond wore a maniacal grin, that would give the Cheshire Cat a run for his money. The smile stretched from ear to ear, all pearly whites bared. His hands ached, but the fruits of labour (one of love as he would say) were very much worth it.

He really had outdone himself this time.

The perfect clay C4 bomb. As a bonus it was shaped to model his Danna. When this thing blew it was going to be art at its greatest! Even Itachi would have to acknowledge his greatness. It was going to outdo all his past attempts, including the one earlier that week that (he swore it was just an accident) blew up in the Cafe. Sure Pein and few other selected staff members weren't too pleased about it all, but seeing the customers screaming, the plates falling gracefully off the shelves and smashing in a glorious mess all over the ground.

But he really hadn't meant it. It was all Tobi's fault. _Honest_.

It was time to go show off his latest Pride and Joy.

---

Fin


	4. 004 Sight

A/N: I do not own Naruto or any of its characters; this site is called Fanfiction for a reason.

This drabble was inspired by a very particular RP post at the LJ Comm for Cafe Akatsuki. If you want the link to the post just let me know in a review and I'll send it to you via PM.

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Group Psychology 004  
Prompt #16: Sight  
Word Count: 438

Sasori had seen a lot of things during his lifetime (which consisted of more years than he cared to admit), but nothing quite like the sight that was laid out before him now. That in itself was quite the feat considering how long he'd been working at the Cafe. The place was funny like that, just when you began to believe you had seen everything, it tended to throw something else at you. Promptly after that the realization generally struck – very much like a brick wall – that nothing was ever a sure thing at _this_ place.

Sasori was hitting one of those brick walls right at this moment.

"What the hell..?"

It wasn't like him to use such vulgar terms loosely, more so in public out of the relative privacy of his workroom, however in this particular case the saying must've been justified.

"What the fuck?"

If only because Itachi had come alongside him and was gawking at the sight in front of them in a state a mild disbelief (wasn't as if profanities were his style either).

There was that brick wall thing again.

The two of them weren't even inside the Cafe yet. They both seemed rather content to stay outdoors for the time being (even if it did look like rain) and away from the... odd state of affairs inside. Almost as if they were afraid to approach some sleeping beast.

Which might not have been so far off the mark, neither of them was particularly fond of colour.

Especially, _**neon**_ colours.

Sticky Notes.

Everywhere.

On every surface imaginable; chairs, the floor, even Hidan's precious espresso machine hadn't been spared (wont he be pleased?). The only parts left bare were the windows, and presumably the door (but one could never be sure), other than that the Cafe was completely covered in a sea of blindingly bright colours from every corner of the rainbow, including colours Sasori didn't even know _existed_. The mass amount of sticky notes seemed to cause Cafe to radiate some sort of light on its own without the help of electricity, and that disturbed him on some level. He just didn't consider that sort of thing _natural_. Then again, laws of nature didn't apply to _this_ Cafe (laws of gravity, or physics either now that he thought of it).

And Really? Cafe employees had been notorious for their use of sticky notes for almost everything from mundane shopping lists to full scale arguments on Pein's office door.

But _this_ was ridiculous.

"We should clean before Pein-san get's here."

"...Indeed." the other sounded mildly grim.

It was going to be a long day.

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End 004

A/N: Might come and rewrite this one later, not sure if I liked how it came out or not. It was a little awkward to write.


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